Saturday, December 27, 2014


Now that Winter is here I feel that it is necessary to approach the topic of clothing.
People tend to wear weird things in the wintertime.
Such as.....
Toe socks.

Very impractical.
How are your piggies gonna keep each other warm if their separated from each other?
If anyone has ever worn these you will know that your toes get SO cold.

Something else impractical: Capri sweats....

"Ya know, I'm cold. I wanna wear sweats. But only my thighs are cold.....blanket pants on my calves would just be too much."

Along the same lines: Arm and leg warmers

"Only this chunk of my body is cold enough to cover up."

And I am definitely guilty of this next one: Puffer vests.

I am all about that puffer vest life.
But I can agree that adding arms would definitely make me a lot warmer.
It sure does keep that upper trunk of my body warm though.
Now just to worry about the frozen arms....

And can we all just agree that afghans help nobody stay warm with all of those air pockets....

Friday, December 19, 2014

around the home

I suppose here would be the place for me to write some cheesy quote that is embroidered on a pillow somewhere.
"Home is where the heart is."
"Home is not a place, it's a feeling."
"What I love most about my home is who I share it with."
That's not how I wanna leave this blog.
I would much rather discuss the aspect of one's home that is actually the most important:
the quirks.
You know those silly things that you have to put up with, thinking aggressive thoughts to whatever is not working as it should in the 21st century.
But then after, they just make for such hilarious stories....
You know the ones.
Like the front door that is always locked and so the amount of times you have had to climb onto your balcony and break in is astounding.
Or the countertop that will snap in two if you put too much weight on it because of that one night where you all decided to play a "drinking game" while standing on top of it.
And there's always that cursed heating and cooling system:
The one that breaks the heater for the whole building in the middle of winter and so everyone is forced to share blankets and cuddle and cause you to feel like a pioneer....sort of.
And oppositely.... when the AC is also broken and so you're forced to sleep on the balcony all Summer.
Don't forget about the red stained sinks and floors that have mysteriously appeared throughout the semester from someone's personal dye job.
And that one chair that you have to sit on just-so or else it will cave in on you.....
These are what makes all the nine houses I've lived in awesome.

Monday, December 8, 2014


My name is McKenzie and I have an addiction.
My addiction is to getting any and every job that I can.
Once upon a time a month ago I even went as far as having 4 jobs at once.
I love weird jobs.
Since dropping out I have narrowed it down to two winners.
And the most recent job I've gotten is a CNA gig at an assisted living home.
It's definitely quite the new experience for me.
I mean, there was about 20 funny memes that explain this job very well.
But I'll leave that to you to google.
Instead, I'll just share these stupendously hilarious things the residents say to me.....
>*When taking one of the women to the bathroom*  "I've gotta piddle...I've gotta piddle."
>*When I told one resident that her undies were showing* She pulled her dress down and said, "No more free show."
>*While trying to play piano for one of the residents to sing to.* I guess I wasn't very good because he leaned in and said, "We've all got out struggles."
>"I can't wait to get to the other side of the veil. Wouldn't it be so fun to see all of your old boyfriends?"
>*When serving salad at dinner* "I don't want that. I'm not a rabbit."
>*It got a little chilly when I was changing one of the residents* "Oh Godfrey."

And my very favorite.....
>*When one of the residents walked in wearing a sweatshirt as pants I tried to take them off.* It was a little difficult so I asked him how he did it. His reply.... "Well it wasn't easy!!"

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

unfinished semester

I've got a secret.
I kept it from most people because I was tired of the comments.
"You're just being lazy", ""You're taking the easy way out","You're a quitter", "You just don't want to do it because it's hard".
And....none of those are true.
Anyone who has read this blog for more than a year knows that I have hated being at BYU.
For example: 1, 2, And I don't care enough to find anymore....
And after a year of wanting to drop out....I finally did.
I threw up my hands and decided that it was enough.
I have too great a purpose in life to waste anymore time being angry, bitter, and miserable.
I didn't do it to escape responsibility or hard work.
I still have to deal with the consequences of quitting, paperwork, and my jobs.
But now...I am happy with how I'm spending my days.
Every part of my life is happy now.
I don't have the burden of working towards something that I don't really want right now.
Instead I am doing things that I am passionate about.
I am doing things that I actually care about,
And I love it.
So I'm not just following my "Free Spirit" or "Running away from responsibility".
I'm just running away from misery.

Thursday, November 20, 2014


“Hey, I like your dress.”
“Thanks. I traded two pants for it.”

Ya see, I was born a natural forager.
It’s sort of a gift.
I think at talent shows I could dumpster dive and win first place.
I’m that good at foraging.
Now, it’s not like I was forced into it growing up.
My parents didn’t make us wear potato sacks or clothes we found in the gutter.
We didn’t have to scrape the bottom of the refrigerator drawers to find dinner to eat.
It’s just something that I’ve grown to love.
I believe that anything not previously owned by another person is not even worth the money.
I think that any food that is free is the best kind of food-even if it’s liver from a can.
I find it enjoyable to figure out how I will survive another day on the streets.
(Even though I don’t technically live on the street….but I would find it a fun little challenge.)
So if you need any help in your foraging skills…..
The art of eating non-poisonous berries, eating eggs from only the most organic chickens, finding the best thrift store clothes, or cooking with only homegrown plants….

This girl is the person to talk to.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

endure it well

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes” 
What does that even mean, endure it well?
I’m pretty sure that I have not been enduring anything well.
I have been drug through this trial kicking and screaming.
I have been angry at God and rebellious this whole time.
I am not enduring it well, if enduring is even what I would call what I’m doing.
So what is my reward?
How do I even classify "enduring it well"?
What is it?
Maybe it doesn’t mean that I am being a steadfast disciple through everything-
never straying and never resisting.
Maybe it means that I am simply waking up every day, knowing the end will come.
Maybe it means that I am throwing up my hands and saying, “Fine. I will do it.”
I might be doing it because I have to but I will do it.
Endure can be defined as continuing to last or exist.
If that’s all I can do right now then that’s OK.
That will be enduring it well for now.
Enduring it well will not always mean being happy or thankful for my trials.
Enduring it well will still allow me to express my anger or resistance.
It's giving what I have to give right now-even if it's not that much.
It is not a mold I need to fit.
I just need to keep living my life.
And I will get through it.
I shouldn’t worry about enduring anything as well as anybody else.
I endure how I can manage to endure.

Monday, November 10, 2014

mom and dad's place

Being a college student really makes a person appreciate their roots.
And when I say roots I mean mom and dad's house.
Because when it costs 3 dollars to do laundry, there's nothing better than free laundry services at home.
Especially when you fall asleep on the couch and your mom does it for you.
Speaking of falling asleep on the couch....
Ya gotta be grateful for that peace and quiet that definitely does not accompany the college life.
Two hours of uninterrupted napping in a public space?
It's the little things.
And you can't forget about grabbing some food that doesn't contain 1000 pounds of sugar or preservatives.
Real vegetables? Actual potatoes? CEREAL??
I always have to help myself to a bowl of cereal whenever I go home.
I can't afford that crap!
And instead of trying to wear all the scarves, sweats, and blankets you own....
You can just cuddle up in front of the heater in the living room.
(I don't gotta worry about paying the utility bill)
And there's nothing like going home when your sick.
When your roommate brings you Sprite it's just not the same as when your mom does.
It must be some special ingredient moms have.
(Maybe she was spittin in it.....or the ingredient is love?)
Nonetheless, go home's pretty great!

Friday, November 7, 2014

why being a grown-up is dumb

We live our lives carefree for so long and then we hit a wall.
At whatever age it comes at, it comes too soon.
We let the world affect us and warp our thoughts.
We used to play hide n seek until it got dark out.
Now, we sit on our computers…doing homework or paying bills…until bedtime.
We used to eat twenty popsicles and ten cookies while we watched Arthur.
Now, we count calories and “Juice” while we watch the news.
We used to wear a rainbow of colors and clothes that were covered in mud and rips.
Now, we are uncivilized if we don’t wear shoes.
We used to care more about climbing trees than what our body looked like.
Now, we trim, tweeze, cover-up, and cinch.
We have to have a plan for our life, we have to be proper and professional.
So, I hereby declare that being a grown-up is dumb.
And I don't want to have a plan for my life.
I don't want to be proper.
I don't want to trim, tweeze, cover-up, and cinch.
I want to eat otter-pops until I puke a rainbow.
I want to have a chicken fight on the monkey bars.
I now denounce adulthood. 
If you need to find me, I will probably be in a tree playing with a gameboy.

Monday, November 3, 2014


Some people are just freakin hilarious. 
So here are some funny Facebook posts that I have stumbled upon.

>I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant

>You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon.

>I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said "I can't complain.”

>You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

>I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.

>Nothing is truly lost until your mom can't find it.

>Since they're loud and heavily scented already, Abercrombie & Fitch stores really are the ideal spot to go fart.

>When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…

>I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson

>I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.

>If you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.

>I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?

>I told my psychiatrist that I've been hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist.

>When a pregnant woman swims, she is a human submarine.

>I’ve spent at least 15% of my life pulling a chain & trying to figure out if the ceiling fan is speeding up or slowing down

Friday, October 31, 2014

tabula rasa

Tabula Rasa.
A clean slate.
"What defines me? I think this past year of my life, my bipolar has defined me. It has consumed me and drained me and made me a stranger to myself. I don’t want my bipolar to define me anymore. So then, what defines me? Who am I? Ya know, people say that when you move to a new place you get to pick to be whoever you want to be. I don’t understand that though. If you are getting to pick to be whoever you want aren’t you just cheating yourself? We are all inherently ourselves. It’s kind of beautiful actually. No matter how many things or people hurt us and break us, we can always hold onto who we are. We might grow and improve, but we are still ourselves. Some people are good at running, snowboarding, painting, singing……but I’m not. I’m good at other things. And I have different personality traits than other people. I have experienced different feelings and struggles than other people. I am myself, and nobody else. When I move to a new place I don’t want to choose to be whoever I want to be because that’s a lie. I would have to hold up that lie the whole time because I will always be myself no matter how hard I try to hide from it. So why don’t I just accept it now? I am myself, always. I have weaknesses and strengths and beauties that make me unique from everybody else. So what defines me? What makes me me even when I move to a new city? I don’t think my bipolar defines me. I think the fact that I love to travel defines me, and my love for deep relationships defines me. I think that my need for people and my contradictorily independent personality defines me. No sickness defines me and I shouldn’t let it. I should let the good things define who I am-not the bad things."

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

the tube of you

YouTube is such a great invention.
It provides for many laughs.
So I though that I would share some of my favorite videos that give me a good laugh.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

rules of life


I have compiled a list of ten things that every person should remember in life.

1. Never fart in the shower.
2. Never pick your nose in the car.
3. Never tell a child a secret.
4. Always shed a tear or tear when you need something from a man.
5. Never picture someone's pooping face. Especially if you're kissing them.
6. Always consult a child when you need the truth.
7. Never get caught cheating. Ya idiot.
8. Never say "I love you" when ending a phone call with your boss.
9. Never put showering last when prioritizing your to-do list.
10. Always check for mold on your food before you eat it.

Monday, October 20, 2014


I overheard my teacher telling a group to make the title of their paper sound:
I just did not understand what that meant.
So I decided to come up with some titles of clearly great essays.
Now, you must read these in your most ghetto-gangsta of voices.
Cause that's how I wrote them.

-Come a little closer: ebola is spreading quickly.
-Yeah take it off: your house is on fire.
-Hey baby: stocks are rising
-Let me see you shake it: obesity causes 18% of deaths.

-You’re lookin' so hot: We need to talk….

Friday, October 17, 2014

relationship advice


Just as a forewarning....this is not going to be GOOD advice.
I'll have you know....I have had offers.
But have I ever been in a real relationship that grown-ups partake of?
I'm just good at the ruining part.
And sometimes you just don't want to be just want them to break up with you.
So let me give you some terrible and unsolicited advice.
(All of these things may or may not have happened to me or been done by me....)

1. Tell them "I love you" in the first week of the relationship...... kill them with kindness. (That's how that saying works right?)

2. Tell them that you believe in co-habitation. That always gets those mormon men running real fast.

3. Talk incessantly about your damn cats all night. And how they suck from their mother's teets.

4. Try to kiss them during the new episode of The Walking Dead....just see what happens then.

5. Absolutely FREAK out at them for littering. That'll scare them off. (Alternatively, if you're dating a hippy.....litter. That's all you gotta do.)

6. Slowly leave bits of your hair everywhere they spend time...they'll eventually get disgusted by you.

7. Tell them you're going on a mission....or moving to Australia. Any of those would work here at BYU. Not marriage ready? Pass.

8. Simply, be really awkward and terrible at flirting....

So let's hear how your relationships have ended....

Monday, October 13, 2014


I am failing American Heritage.
Not after today though.
We had a constitutional convention that would play a big role on borderline grades based on participation.
Well, if my borderline was pass/fail then I definitely want to be on the pass side.
So I told the girls in my group that we were going to get noticed.
We needed the participation.
I told them that we were just going to propose ridiculous things.
Thus, began the war of 2014.
First, I proposed that all slaves get two votes in any election.
When everyone basically threw tomatoes at me for this,
My group decided to secede from the union.
This was not granted.
So we tried to absorb Delaware…
They didn’t want that either.
So we elected Benedict Arnold as president.
Believe it or not, they didn’t like that either.
So basically, my idea of government is a joke but…..
I’m not gonna fail…
I definitely don’t have a chance of getting friends in that class but…
I’m not gonna fail…

Wednesday, October 8, 2014


"Hope is the only thing stronger than fear."
I read this while I sit on the rooftop drinking my Danimals like a child.
A lot of times I worry that I will never KNOW the truths of life.
And maybe I never will.
But maybe all that I need is to hope.
Hope that the truths that I am supporting and living are good and worthwhile.
What kind of life do I want to live?
What kind of person do I want to be?
What do I want to fill my time with?
What do I want to put my efforts into?
I think about these questions often, but never truly find an answer.
I know I want to live a good life, be a good person, fill my time with good things.....
But what does good even mean?
What if what I think is good isn't actually good?
I might never KNOW what is actually good or is actually true.
But there is always hope.
There is hope that things are good and that people are good.
And I gotta have hope in something.
(So I'll put my hope in Danimals.
Because that is GOOD.)

Sunday, October 5, 2014

rough week

I make my living at a nursing home.
And this week I worked overtime.
Only to stumble upon many a surprise.
It started off with an old man asking me to adjust his nether regions.
I'm not about that life.
Then I had to....touch poop.
There comes a moment in a housekeeper's life when you encounter the brown devil.
You try to use every tool to transfer it into a means of disposal.
But then sometimes nothing works and so all you can think is...
"It's time. It must be done."
So you use your best type of tool-the one at the end of your arm.
And SOMETIMES it goes awry and your whole body distorts in disgust while the sound of a sick whale comes out of your mouth.
"AEHHAHEHHA it touched me!!!!"
And then you leave work.
Because that is just too much.
And ya know what?
That wasn't even the grossest of days.
(I tried to make this post about poop as tasteful as possible. How'd I do?)

Monday, September 29, 2014


If my life was a movie I would hope that I was a main character.
I would have a higher chance of survival this way.
If this movie that I'm starring in is scary then I would not be that person to walk down the creepy stairs.
If this movie was an action then I would definitely NOT be the hot blonde running through debris in high heels.
If this movie was about the zombie apocalypse then I would positively own a crossbow and motorcycle.
If this movie was a romantic comedy then I for sure wouldn't be the one dating an attractively hilarious man.
I would be the awkwardly weird third wheel friend that feeds on sarcasm.
I might possibly be the damsel in distress because who doesn't want a hot man to swoop in to carry them away into the sunset?
I would definitely be the rebellious young buck that tries to overthrow the government.
(Except I would probably fail miserably. I'm no Katniss.)
So basically....I wish my life was a movie.

Also, I know this post was about movies and the picture is of books. I like irony.

Monday, September 22, 2014


Life is awkward.
Because sometimes you have to hiney hang* in front of a man.
(But he still dates you anyways)
And sometimes you order a dessert for two and eat it by yourself.
(Even though they gave you two forks)
And sometimes you see a man walking out of the grocery store and think, “dang he’s hot.”
(Turns out its your ex…..)
Sometimes you have to break into your apartment while wearing a skirt.
(There’s no way to do this like a lady)
Sometimes you walk past a bathroom stall with wide cracks.
(And make eye contact with the person inside)
Sometimes you sit next to a guy with both your hands touching in preparation for the hand-holding.
(Which is actually the best kind of awkward)
And sometimes you get a physical from your doctor.

(And can’t stop giggling because you’re ticklish)

*A woman peeing. In the woods.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

little loves

Purple Nail Polish
Camping Trips
Swimming Pools
Maple Bars
Red Sneakers
Barefoot Running
Crab Paninis
Writing Down The Bones
Pretty Little Liars
Zooey Deschanel

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

a poem


To write a haiku
Or to not write a haiku.
That is the question.

(If you don't understand the irony then just leave this place.)

Friday, September 12, 2014

mormon dating

I have been avidly observing the mating rituals of the mormons in their natural habitat-the campus of Brigham Young University.
I am intrigued by my findings.
While the average marrying age of American women is 28, the average age for mormon women is 20.*
Even though the average marrying age of American men is 30, the average age for mormon men is 23.*
So how do mormons manage to win the race to the altar?
While going to school here I have witnessed certain dating practices that help speed up the process of the “I love you”.
It all starts with cookies.
During church the women announce that they will be serving cookies at their apartment.
This brings the men to the viewing of the domestic abilities of their potential mates.
Next, of course, comes the date.
Once the male has found a suitable cookie-making woman he will ask her to go out.
The average American man will take a woman out for dinner or a movie.
Not on this campus though.
They prefer to take their women to a night of “Angel-Moroni watching” at the temple.
If not this then garment shopping** is always a good choice to show the level of commitment they desire.
Once the courting stage has begun it is customary for the man to wait for the woman outside of relief society.
This shows all other males that she is taken.
Then, naturally, two weeks later is the "I do".

*Statistics are completely false 
**True story.......

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

senior year

School has begun.
And I saved all of my general credits for my senior year-
I'm kinda rocking procrastination.
Today I walked around the recently populated campus only thinking,
"AHH humans....leave!!"
There's too many of them in one spot that's for sure.
I did ask a few for directions though...
Their faces would turn sympathetic as they would ask,
Maybe I should take the effort to get acquainted to BYU campus?
Eh, too late to care now.
I'd say I started the semester off right by forgetting to pack anything useful and instead filling my backpack with food.
It came in handy though when, halfway to campus, I had to take a break and really contemplate the worth of an education.
(Walking is hard, alright?)
Well, one day down.
Let's do this.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

the end

"................Because if we're not sharing it, why are we experiencing it?"

It's the end.
I finished.
Now, for editors.
Raise of hands as to who wants to help give me feedback.
I only need a few kind souls to email me at
Only the brave ones though.


Monday, August 25, 2014

arizona cardinals

I wore this shirt the other day.
(OK, not this exact one....cause that's obvs not me...)
I was walking around my apartment complex meeting new people.
I started talking to a group of guys and things were going good.
(Good as in, we had all said our names correctly).
Then one asked me if I was from Arizona.
"No", I said.
"I actually don't even like baseball."
Anybody else see the very prominent football helmet smack dab in the middle?
Yeah, he did too.
I tried to laugh it off as if I was joking but...
We all knew....

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

the video

Since I dropped my camera in a puddle of ocean water and it didn't dry until later in the trip....
this is all I got!

California from McKenzie Sant on Vimeo.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014


In the spirit of BYU homeless week I thought that I would share a little story.
A couple of summers ago I was a nanny up in the Salt Lake area.
I always just kept a bag packed in the car because I never knew where I would be sleeping that night.
Depending on when I got done with work, errands, and traffic I would either stay at my parents, my sister's or a friend's.
Thus, my belongings in my car.
I had a stick of deodorant in there and due to the sweltering summer heat it melted.
I was too cheap to buy a new one so I was just going to wait until I stayed at my parent's again.
Since it had melted I couldn't possibly apply it.
So I crossed my fingers and went about my day.
In the late afternoon the little girl I nanny was sitting by me while we watched a movie.
She looks at me after a little bit and says, "you stink".
The Summer heat had gotten to me.
I tried to wipe my pits down with a paper towel to see what that would do.
She informed me that it didn't work.
So I tried my hardest to get that melted deodorant to do it's job.
It must have done something because she smelled the culprits and then looked up at me in amazement and said,
"Woah. How did you do that?"
Magic my dear friend.
Now everyone, go use a little magic today.

Sunday, August 17, 2014


33 hours in the car.
1530 miles drive.
46 states found in the license plate game.
3 nights.
150 dollars spent per person.
And my first time in California.
I'd say it was a good one!
San Diego, I love you and want to live on your beaches one day.
And now here is a bucketload of pictures.

Monday, August 11, 2014


I have a hidden talent-being able to find really random jobs.
That NOBODY else wants.
I currently have approximately 5 jobs-all random as heck.
My favorite job though has got to be my dishwashing job.
It's in the creamery so donuts and ice cream for dinner is the usual for me now.
I get them for free.
(Well....I eat them and I don't pay
Also, my boss is an old man that says the dumbest jokes.
But since he's old, they are actually really funny jokes.
He saw me lift a really heavy bowl today and he just looked at me in amazement and said,
"'re not a wimp!"
Glad I could surprise him with my bowl-lifting skills.
Really, I was crying inside.
It was pretty darn heavy, probably the weight of a baby elephant.
I try to act real tough because I work with all guys and they actually are tough.
But when it takes me ten minutes to push a cart of trays five feet they see through my facade.
On the flip side I sprayed myself in the face with the power washer.
Then I smashed my finger in the dishwasher door that I was sure it had fallen off.
It hadn't.
No workers comp for me I guess.
Maybe tomorrow?

Sunday, August 10, 2014


I've been getting ready for Australia and holy cow I'm excited.
I started thinking about Africa and the experiences I had there.
I originally went because some german man on the street told me to live my dreams.
And I'm so glad that I did.
Or else I never would have gone to an impromptu Kenyan wedding,
been ripped off by a man in a shop,
lost my luggage in the city,
been proposed to by my taxi driver,
gotten lost in a Nigerian airport,
or nearly fallen into a poop hole.
I can't wait for the adventures to come next year when I hop on the plane for the next chapter of my life.
I won't be gaining stability or security, but that's fine with me.
Because I'll be gaining experiences that are once in a lifetime.
There's something amazing and exhilarating about getting on a plane to go to a new country all by yourself.
So, graduation, please come faster.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

time for a book

"Growing up and feeling so broken and isolated I wanted to find someone that was like me.
As I looked for literature on the topic of depression I found that I was coming up short.
I found books on the science behind the disorder, how to cope with the disorder, and how to understand it.
This wasn't what I was looking for though. Frankly, I didn't much care about the fact that my brain had a chemical misbalance.
What I was looking for was a story.
I wanted to hear how someone personally dealt with depression.
I didn't care what a scientist, who had never suffered from depression, had discovered in his research.
I wanted desperately to find someone to relate to.
If I wasn't going to find that person in real life, I wanted to at least find that person in a book.
I didn't though, so I decided to try to be that person for others.
I want people to know that someone just like them is going through this stuff.
I want people to know that they're not the only ones.
I want people to know that they're OK."

I'm writing a book.
It's almost done.
Some of my blog posts I've written have been excerpts from it.
But, now that it's almost done, I'm stumped.
How do I go about getting it out to the public?
Is this actually incredibly stupid?
Would anyone read it?
Now would be a great time for everyone to give me their input.
Thanks :)

Saturday, August 2, 2014


I always thought that robots would be the ones to take over the world.
I no longer believe this to be true.
Technology is the most unreliable thing-definitely not organized enough to control a species.
My phone broke.
And I suddenly realized how much we rely on our phones.
I should call my parents for help.
Never mind, don't have a phone.
I'll use a stranger's phone.
Never mind, their numbers are in my phone.
Well, what time is it?
I don't know, my phone is broken.
As these thoughts continued throughout the days of trying to get a phone and failing I started having to use phrases such as
"Oh let me check my watch."
"Hey can you e-mail me when you're coming to get me?"
(5 broken phones later and ya just about wanna cry 1000 tears.....)
I decided that Facebook would now be my main form of communication.
I got on my computer.
(I should've seen this's been spitting out dust and smoke for about a week.)
So.....I went and bought a new computer.
That's just how life works sometimes.
And I can assure you that every single Verizon and Best Buy sales associate knows me by name.
And my hometown.
And my major.
And my dog's name.
And that's not even a joke.
So, no.
I don't think robots will take over the world.
And by the looks of it, neither will humans.
Cause we suck at life when technology dies.
I guess it's a race between McDonald's and Wal-Mart.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

how true it is

>Electric hand dryers are great for when you want to just give up and wipe your hands on your pants.
>Posting a status update before responding to someone's text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
>7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10
>Flies only live for 24 hours. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those bastards live forever.
>Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great.
>The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. "Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you."
>“Careful, there’s poop on the dance floor.” – how ballet was invented.
>I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
>You know your day is complete when someone in a vehicle with a "COEXIST" bumper sticker flips you off.
>If you ever come over unannounced, it'll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants