Tuesday, September 27, 2016

homemade oreos

Here's a recipe for Homemade Oreos while I think about what to write about next.

2 Pkg. Devils Food Cake Mix
4 Eggs
1 1/2 C. Butter
2 Tbs. Milk
Mix together and roll into balls. Bake at 350* for 8-9 minutes.

1 8 oz. Pkg. Cream Cheese
3/4 C. butter
2 2/3 C. Powdered Sugar
Mix and place between cookies. Store in airtight container on counter or in fridge.
Next step: Eat 10.

Sunday, September 25, 2016


A screenshot from our announcement video.

Whenever we have a question, we Google.
When we are afraid, we Google.
When we are anxious, we Google.
We want answers.
We want to know what people have to say.
We want to know that we are not alone.
So while I feel a little weird writing this, I wanted to have this out there for anybody that doesn't want to feel alone.
Because reading my Aunt's sweet words about her experience helped me understand mine more.
And if I'm going to experience this then it better damn well be for a purpose.
And I'm not going to experience it in a puddle of mush in the basement with nobody knowing.
So I've written my experience from my own personal perspective.
And not what it means for everybody.
So here goes:
Very recently I had a miscarriage.
We had decided we were ready to have a baby.
We were financially prepared, it was something we had both always wanted, we felt ready.
So we tried without trying too hard and the very next month we were pregnant.
Man, that was easy!
And I wasn't even sick?
How did I even get to be this lucky?
Then my doctor called to tell me that she would like me to come in for an ultrasound because my hormone levels were pretty high.
Derek and I started to get nervous.
But mostly excited (and mostly nervous) because we thought it could be twins!!!
I go into the office then next day and wait SO anxiously in the waiting room.
When I finally get taken back and the ultrasound starts, the tech starts questioning if I had been told correctly as to why I was in there.
And that's when she told me that where was no longer any baby in my belly.
And my world came crashing down.
I just could not even believe what they were telling me.
I was just coming in to see if my due date was sooner.
And I hadn't been feeling pain or excessively bleeding.
The only thing I really felt was confusion.
And part of me thought that they must be lying to me.
Derek came home from work and we sat in a confused depression.
I called the doctor and came to find out that she hadn't told me the real reason I was going in because she didn't want to stress me out.
I could have prepared myself!
I could have asked Derek to come in with me instead of having to sit in that exam room....alone!
But there's not just the emotional pain.
There's the terrible physical pain that comes with miscarrying.
Your body has to get rid of all of the tissue that is now foreign and doesn't belong.
My body, however, chose to give me all the pain with none of the results.
And it's so frustrating.
And even though I know better than to blame God, it is just so easy.
Why did he let me get pregnant in the first place?
Why couldn't I have just not gotten pregnant?
And not even did I just miscarry, but now my body can't do what it's supposed to?
How is that even fair?
And afterwards all you have is lost excitement, ruined plans, and soon to be dusty baby toys that were purchased prematurely.
But eventually the pain lessens and you can live normally again.
The only difference now is that there's a Fear that has cozied itself into the recesses of your rmind-ready to jump out to the forefronts before Excitement even has time to get out of bed.
However,  the thing that helped me the most were the words of my Aunt explaining that there are some babies that are just too perfect for this ugly world, but still need bodies.
And I have the ability to help with that.
So I will.

Monday, September 19, 2016


We've made it a whole year?
Where has the time gone?
365 Days.
2 Apartments.
4 Seasons.
100ish Arguments.
8 Road Trips.
6 Major Holidays.
15 Socks Lost.
800ish Laughs.

I can't believe that one year ago we were little nervous nellies, about to go to the temple.
About to be sealed for time and all eternity.
And here we are......we haven't killed each other yet.
Marriage is honestly the best, yet hardest thing ever.
But I think mostly marriage is ironic.
Because when you have arguments and want to vent to your best friend....
You realize that they're your best friend!
So the only way to get your best friend back is to pull up your big kid knickers and apologize.
And the only disappointing thing about today is that we ate our wedding cake topper ages ago!
I guess we will just have to buy a whole new one.
Because it was THAT good.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

life goes on

Writing has always been an outlet for me.
Journals, Word, Blogger.
Lately there has been so much I want to write, yet nothing I want to share.
I keep trying to open up a new post to figure out what I want to share with the world.
And I get nothing.
There's so many thoughts I have inside my head.
But none of them will come out in an acceptable way.
And definitely not in a way that I want to share with the world.
So my only piece of wisdom I have for now is that
Life goes on whether we are ready for it to or not.
And we can either fight it or let it take us right along with it.
One leaves us in a pile of mush and one lets us at least pretend we're OK until we actually are.
One is a waste, and One.....not so much.

Sunday, September 4, 2016


This weekend Derek and I tried to go camping.
Less in the middle of nowhere camping and more civilized camping.
We packed up the cooler, tents, sleeping bags, and chairs in the car and headed up the canyon.
But everything ended up being filled to the brim with no room at the inn.
(At least we got some gorgeous views on the way up)
Lucky enough, we ended up stumbling upon Silver Lake, which is something we visited on our honeymoon.
After reminiscing and wishing we had a canoe we answered the call of our rumbling bellies and headed back down the canyon for dinner.
Instead of camping we decided to just do the fire portion-dinner and dessert at a day use picnic area.
Now, let me just give a shout out to my husband for making delicious tin foil dinners.
And to Wolf Em Sticks for giving me the dessert that I have been looking for my whole life.
(Now why can't I have a fire every night just so that I can fill my belly with what it demands???)
Once we had eaten our food Mother Nature decided that we had had enough fun.
It started pouring and put the last of our fire out of business for the night.
So we packed up once again that day and drove home in the somewhat setting sun.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

august favorites


>Cleaning Product: A dusting glove. Yeah, I know I'm a nerdy grown up that gets excited about weird things, but this is COOL and you can't deny it. I got them from my local grocery store but you can also get it here. It has seriously changed my life in the best way possible. My house never sees a speck of dust anymore.

>Clothing: Lularoe leggings. I have never felt something so soft on my legs. Also, they fit perfectly-no bunchy crotch here. Annnnnd they don't pill in the dryer. Winwinwinwinwin. The only problem is...I don't know how to buy them. Seriously, their buying process is confusing. You have to know people who have the goods. And then meet them in a dark alley.....

>Food: Salad Kits. SALAD KITS. I am not a huge salad fan, but I'm starting to think that it's just because I'm not making them right. These little babies have perfectly proportioned toppings and salad to dressing ratios. Bomb. And they come in a variety of delicious flavors sold at your local grocer in the produce section. Next to the plain, boring salads that don't come with their very own dressings and toppings.

>Tv Show: Grey's Anatomy. I'm watching it from the beginning. Again. I haven't seen the newest season yet and I figured that I better start at the beginning JUST IN CASE I forgot anything that will affect my viewing of the final season. Really, it's because I just like feeling that I'm a surgeon and know everything about how a hospital runs.

>Exercise: I have a tight neck and a constant sore back/shoulders/neck. So this video is a Godsend. I try to do this at least once or a couple times a week. And it really does help so much. I highly encourage it if you spend most of your days imitating the Hunchback of Notre Dame.