Wednesday, November 26, 2014

unfinished semester

I've got a secret.
I kept it from most people because I was tired of the comments.
"You're just being lazy", ""You're taking the easy way out","You're a quitter", "You just don't want to do it because it's hard".
And....none of those are true.
Anyone who has read this blog for more than a year knows that I have hated being at BYU.
For example: 1, 2, And I don't care enough to find anymore....
And after a year of wanting to drop out....I finally did.
I threw up my hands and decided that it was enough.
I have too great a purpose in life to waste anymore time being angry, bitter, and miserable.
I didn't do it to escape responsibility or hard work.
I still have to deal with the consequences of quitting, paperwork, and my jobs.
But now...I am happy with how I'm spending my days.
Every part of my life is happy now.
I don't have the burden of working towards something that I don't really want right now.
Instead I am doing things that I am passionate about.
I am doing things that I actually care about,
And I love it.
So I'm not just following my "Free Spirit" or "Running away from responsibility".
I'm just running away from misery.

Thursday, November 20, 2014


“Hey, I like your dress.”
“Thanks. I traded two pants for it.”

Ya see, I was born a natural forager.
It’s sort of a gift.
I think at talent shows I could dumpster dive and win first place.
I’m that good at foraging.
Now, it’s not like I was forced into it growing up.
My parents didn’t make us wear potato sacks or clothes we found in the gutter.
We didn’t have to scrape the bottom of the refrigerator drawers to find dinner to eat.
It’s just something that I’ve grown to love.
I believe that anything not previously owned by another person is not even worth the money.
I think that any food that is free is the best kind of food-even if it’s liver from a can.
I find it enjoyable to figure out how I will survive another day on the streets.
(Even though I don’t technically live on the street….but I would find it a fun little challenge.)
So if you need any help in your foraging skills…..
The art of eating non-poisonous berries, eating eggs from only the most organic chickens, finding the best thrift store clothes, or cooking with only homegrown plants….

This girl is the person to talk to.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

endure it well

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes” 
What does that even mean, endure it well?
I’m pretty sure that I have not been enduring anything well.
I have been drug through this trial kicking and screaming.
I have been angry at God and rebellious this whole time.
I am not enduring it well, if enduring is even what I would call what I’m doing.
So what is my reward?
How do I even classify "enduring it well"?
What is it?
Maybe it doesn’t mean that I am being a steadfast disciple through everything-
never straying and never resisting.
Maybe it means that I am simply waking up every day, knowing the end will come.
Maybe it means that I am throwing up my hands and saying, “Fine. I will do it.”
I might be doing it because I have to but I will do it.
Endure can be defined as continuing to last or exist.
If that’s all I can do right now then that’s OK.
That will be enduring it well for now.
Enduring it well will not always mean being happy or thankful for my trials.
Enduring it well will still allow me to express my anger or resistance.
It's giving what I have to give right now-even if it's not that much.
It is not a mold I need to fit.
I just need to keep living my life.
And I will get through it.
I shouldn’t worry about enduring anything as well as anybody else.
I endure how I can manage to endure.

Monday, November 10, 2014

mom and dad's place

Being a college student really makes a person appreciate their roots.
And when I say roots I mean mom and dad's house.
Because when it costs 3 dollars to do laundry, there's nothing better than free laundry services at home.
Especially when you fall asleep on the couch and your mom does it for you.
Speaking of falling asleep on the couch....
Ya gotta be grateful for that peace and quiet that definitely does not accompany the college life.
Two hours of uninterrupted napping in a public space?
It's the little things.
And you can't forget about grabbing some food that doesn't contain 1000 pounds of sugar or preservatives.
Real vegetables? Actual potatoes? CEREAL??
I always have to help myself to a bowl of cereal whenever I go home.
I can't afford that crap!
And instead of trying to wear all the scarves, sweats, and blankets you own....
You can just cuddle up in front of the heater in the living room.
(I don't gotta worry about paying the utility bill)
And there's nothing like going home when your sick.
When your roommate brings you Sprite it's just not the same as when your mom does.
It must be some special ingredient moms have.
(Maybe she was spittin in it.....or the ingredient is love?)
Nonetheless, go home's pretty great!

Friday, November 7, 2014

why being a grown-up is dumb

We live our lives carefree for so long and then we hit a wall.
At whatever age it comes at, it comes too soon.
We let the world affect us and warp our thoughts.
We used to play hide n seek until it got dark out.
Now, we sit on our computers…doing homework or paying bills…until bedtime.
We used to eat twenty popsicles and ten cookies while we watched Arthur.
Now, we count calories and “Juice” while we watch the news.
We used to wear a rainbow of colors and clothes that were covered in mud and rips.
Now, we are uncivilized if we don’t wear shoes.
We used to care more about climbing trees than what our body looked like.
Now, we trim, tweeze, cover-up, and cinch.
We have to have a plan for our life, we have to be proper and professional.
So, I hereby declare that being a grown-up is dumb.
And I don't want to have a plan for my life.
I don't want to be proper.
I don't want to trim, tweeze, cover-up, and cinch.
I want to eat otter-pops until I puke a rainbow.
I want to have a chicken fight on the monkey bars.
I now denounce adulthood. 
If you need to find me, I will probably be in a tree playing with a gameboy.

Monday, November 3, 2014


Some people are just freakin hilarious. 
So here are some funny Facebook posts that I have stumbled upon.

>I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant

>You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon.

>I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said "I can't complain.”

>You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

>I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.

>Nothing is truly lost until your mom can't find it.

>Since they're loud and heavily scented already, Abercrombie & Fitch stores really are the ideal spot to go fart.

>When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…

>I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson

>I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.

>If you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.

>I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?

>I told my psychiatrist that I've been hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist.

>When a pregnant woman swims, she is a human submarine.

>I’ve spent at least 15% of my life pulling a chain & trying to figure out if the ceiling fan is speeding up or slowing down