Friday, January 31, 2014

a look back

I looked through my old Facebook posts and found some old statuses.
And here are just a few of them.

>I've always wanted to walk up to a stranger and hand him a briefcase and whisper "you know what to do" and walk away.
>It's never a good sign when someone is in the bathroom and yells "oh no!"
>Seaweed...the spinach of the sea!
>This is the second time I have sat next to someone in the library who Is shopping for prostitutes. That is too many times.
>I can tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 18 minutes.
>Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can.
>Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
>I'm done chasing people who aren't willing to do the same for me. After today, the ice cream man will have to find business elsewhere.
>If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" will suffice. None of this "how did you get in my house" business.
>I think blowing on appliances to get them to work only worked in the nineties.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

i excercised

I definitely didn't take this picture, but this is basically what I looked like.

I went to the gym today.
I went last week and greatly embarrassed myself but I decided to try again.
I was getting some cardio in and life was great and then the moment hit me.
Ya know, that moment when you're all sweaty and out of breath and you decide to look at the time.
And then you realize that you have been there for two minutes?
Yeah, that moment.
I cursed gyms and then decided to make it to five minutes.
A whole five minutes of exercise?
Well, ask my lazy 19 year old self.
And my lazy 18 year old self.
And my lazy 17 year old self.
And my.....
You get the idea.
Five minutes of a gym?
That's an accomplishment.
Baby steps.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


"A living organism does not get sick as long as it lives according to the primitive rules of nature. Health is nothing else than a life under natural conditions. Disease, on the other hand, is a result of unnatural living. To our sorrow, modern civilization forces us into an unnatural way of living, so that life force can only protect our health to a limited extent. We neither eat, nor drink, nor sleep, nor breath, nor clothe ourselves properly and naturally."

-Yoga and Health

Wednesday, January 22, 2014


Here's some old film pictures that I found chillin in some files.

Monday, January 20, 2014

contents of my purse

Yup, that's it!
My wallet, temple recommend, and emergency beard (c/o Tyler).
Who needs more than that?
OK...maybe I do.
One day I needed a pen.
So I turned to the fella next to me,
"Hey, do you have a pen I could borrow? All I got's a beard."
And that's when I realized that it's weird to carry a beard in your purse.
But it came in handy down at Utah Lake last night when my face was freezing.
See, I make a terrible girl.
I have always struggled with purses.
I either carry nothing or I carry too much.
For example:
In middle school I had two particular purses.
The first was approximately the size of my fist and carried maybe two sticks of gum.
And then I upgraded.
To a purse that I literally use as a duffel bag now.
What was I thinking carrying around that big of a purse?
I like to joke that your confidence is only as big as your purse.
And I had a BIG purse.
And now I just have a weird purse.
So.....pretty accurate.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

hatha yoga

I am reading a book titled Yoga and Health.
It's discussing hatha yoga, which is a more relaxed and gentle form of yoga.
The text states that,
"The Hatha Yogi who has reached the highest level of ability has complete and absolute control over his body. He can regulate at will the activity of his heart, his digestive organs and the functioning of every other organ in his body."
Yogis that are 80 or 90 years old seem as if they are 30 or 40 years old.
They live to an old age because they can recharge their bodies with new life energies at will.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

recent reads

Positioning Yoga/The People's History of the United States/What Do You Want To Do Before You Die?/The Century/The Truly Disadvantaged

One of my dear friends, Madison, inspired this post.
She included in her last post a link to all the books she read this year.
These are the books I'm currently reading.
Yeah, it's normal for me to read roughly five books at a time.
Growing up I vowed to read every book in the entire library.
But, libraries are big.
So I mostly just got through the Olsen Twins detective books before reality hit.
But I never stopped trying.
To this day I go to the library about once a week and spend hours there.
(My library card number is one of the only numbers I have memorized.)
And let me loose in a used book store and I will spend any money I have.
Reading is fun guys.
Here is a list of the books I have read in the last couple months that received my stamp of approval:

Of Mice And Men
To Kill A Mockingbird
Into The Wild
The Last American Man
The Dharma Bums
The Alliance
Digital Fortress
The Great Gatsby

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

number fifty-six

I crossed another item off of my bucket list.
Participate in a food eating contest.
(I know that it wasn't official or anything, but I get to make up my own rules.)
On Saturday night I was in apartment 102 when the guys proposed going to Pizza Pie Cafe.
I had never been so I invited myself to go along as well.
An eating contest was proposed.
And I, having an unnecessary amount of confidence in my abilities to eat, wanted in.
They asked if I was sure that I wanted to compete against them and I said that of course I was.
Because I was gonna win.
We arrive at the eatery and pile our plates high with pizza.
As I began eating I looked forward to the three free dinners I was going to receive from the losers.
I cruised through my first plate and gladly went back for another stack.
Now, there was a period at the end of last spring semester that I ate a whole pizza every night. wallet has since shrunk.
Causing my stomach to shrink as well.
(To accommodate for the lesser amounts of food....I'm sure you can all relate).
This is what I'm going to blame it on at least.
Because I ate my eleventh slice and I knew.
That I had just made a huge mistake.
I quickly convinced one of my competitors to tie for last with me so I would only have to bake two dinners.
And then I went quiet.
And stayed quiet the rest of the night as I laid on my bed silently cursing the Italians for creating such a tempting cuisine.
Surprisingly, the next morning I woke up craving pizza.
So...there's that.
The time that I ALMOST won a pizza eating contest.....kinda.

Friday, January 10, 2014

anything is possible

Ok first of all, watch this video.
Olan Rogers is my role model-he is both hilarious and awesome.
And this is pretty inspiring.

Holy shmoly.
Wasn't that fabulous?
Who the heck cares if the thing you love to do doesn't make you a whole bunch of money?
"It's not about the money, it's about the experience."
If you are living off one meal a day, in your car, with no pillow...
but you are doing what you love're living a lot more than those people living comfortably with a job that they hate.
Life is too short to waste time doing stuff you don't enjoy.
If you want to major in art then freaking major in art.
If you want to major in poetry reading then by golly you better do it.
Because being poor will not even matter if you are living life the way you want to live it.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

the woes of a student

I only slept for four hours last night.
And that's normal.
I go through my day fearing that I will fall asleep in some random place.
(Side note: one of my biggest fears is falling asleep in public and letting one rip.)
I also fear that someone will notice that I am wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
But ya know what?
Wearing the same clothes saves ten extra minutes of precious sleep time.
So I do it anyways because I'm a grown up and I can.
I go to my classes and cross my fingers that I understand what is being taught.
And then of course I don't.
So I give up on the day and try to nap.
But I can't so I decide to give my homework a shot.
And since I didn't understand what was being taught in class I don't understand my homework.
So I make up some answers that look real pretty.
Then I re-consider dropping out of school.
And look at the benefits of living without a college degree.
I could make it work right?
Am I in the right field?
Am I headed in the right direction?
I don't know.
My dream job doesn't have a title and I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist so I guess I'll settle for this major.
Cause it's a little close to what I wanna do.
Then I look at my bank account and think about dropping out again.
But I know that I can't.
And I won't.
And ya know what makes the fact that I'm stuck in college so much better?
Getting to go to work and eat my two nightly cookies.
Cause I'm in college and don't care about carbs.
It's all worth it right?
(I'm referring to college....not the carbs. Carbs are always worth it.)

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

the response

The response towards my hair was vast.
The cool people complimented me.
The rest of society just stared at me as if I had two heads.
My bosses loved it.
They loved it so much that they promoted cleaning the pool!
No dirty toilets for me anymore.
No sir.
My bishop was a little shocked by it.
In Sunday School he came over to sit by me and loudly announced,
"I'm going to sit by the crazy lady."
That's what they'll call me.
I went to my first day of class ready to whip out the sass if my teachers didn't approve.
I sit in my only class of the day and my teacher with his british accent and torn up sneakers says,
"The lady with the wonderful hair, please introduce yourself!"
He then proceeded to tell me that he wanted his hair to be that same color but his wife wouldn't let him.
Surprisingly I have had no negative attention brought to my beautiful head of 'rock-n-roll red' hair.
The only obstacle that I can see is taking my religion exams in the testing center.
I'll just save my sass for then.
OK're a little cooler than I thought you were.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

face wash

This face soap is the most amazing soap that I have ever used.
And, bonus, it is chemical free!
You will need these three things along with water and containers.
Grate the bar soap until you have a cup of soap flakes.
This can take anywhere between 15-20 minutes.
Fill a pot of water with 10 cups of water.
Add the soap flakes and 1 Tbs. of glycerin.
Turn the burner to medium-low heat and stir until everything dissolves together.
Turn off the burner and let cool completely.
Then, using a funnel, pour mixture into containers to store.
One bar of soap has lasted me years.
So I recommend getting a nice soap, such as Dr. Bronners.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

just say no

To New Year's resolutions.
Who needs 'em?
I'm not about to write a post listing my New Year's resolutions.
And I'm sure as heck not gonna post some crap about
"OK guys, it's a new year. I can feel it-2014 is going to be so much better!"
Is it?
You couldn't feel good enough about the last year so you're gonna lie to yourself and say that this next one is going to be better?
How about we make more realistic resolutions?
"I resolve to continue sitting in my sweats, eating pizza, browsing pinterest."
"I resolve to travel to these cool 2015."
"I resolve to buy a gym membership and let it gather dust."
Who even created New Year's resolutions?
Why do we make this big show about writing down our goals for the entire year?
We all know that we lose that paper in a week anyways.
It's rather humorous that we tell ourselves that this next year is going to be so much better.
That we are going to ACTUALLY keep our goals this year.
This year is THE year.
Well, ya said that last year....
And nothing changed.
We put so much emphasis on this ONE day.
We don't hold ourselves accountable for becoming better people on any other day of the year.
Just the first one.
Then it's ok to let ourselves go because.....
Eh. I'll try again next year.
How about we stop limiting ourselves to that one day?
Why don't we make goals to become the people we want to be every week? Every day?
Cause come on people.
We all know that New Year's is a joke.

*disclaimer: I do love the celebration of the day, but.....the concept around it is a bit over my head.