Friday, October 31, 2014

tabula rasa

Tabula Rasa.
A clean slate.
"What defines me? I think this past year of my life, my bipolar has defined me. It has consumed me and drained me and made me a stranger to myself. I don’t want my bipolar to define me anymore. So then, what defines me? Who am I? Ya know, people say that when you move to a new place you get to pick to be whoever you want to be. I don’t understand that though. If you are getting to pick to be whoever you want aren’t you just cheating yourself? We are all inherently ourselves. It’s kind of beautiful actually. No matter how many things or people hurt us and break us, we can always hold onto who we are. We might grow and improve, but we are still ourselves. Some people are good at running, snowboarding, painting, singing……but I’m not. I’m good at other things. And I have different personality traits than other people. I have experienced different feelings and struggles than other people. I am myself, and nobody else. When I move to a new place I don’t want to choose to be whoever I want to be because that’s a lie. I would have to hold up that lie the whole time because I will always be myself no matter how hard I try to hide from it. So why don’t I just accept it now? I am myself, always. I have weaknesses and strengths and beauties that make me unique from everybody else. So what defines me? What makes me me even when I move to a new city? I don’t think my bipolar defines me. I think the fact that I love to travel defines me, and my love for deep relationships defines me. I think that my need for people and my contradictorily independent personality defines me. No sickness defines me and I shouldn’t let it. I should let the good things define who I am-not the bad things."

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

the tube of you

YouTube is such a great invention.
It provides for many laughs.
So I though that I would share some of my favorite videos that give me a good laugh.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

rules of life


I have compiled a list of ten things that every person should remember in life.

1. Never fart in the shower.
2. Never pick your nose in the car.
3. Never tell a child a secret.
4. Always shed a tear or tear when you need something from a man.
5. Never picture someone's pooping face. Especially if you're kissing them.
6. Always consult a child when you need the truth.
7. Never get caught cheating. Ya idiot.
8. Never say "I love you" when ending a phone call with your boss.
9. Never put showering last when prioritizing your to-do list.
10. Always check for mold on your food before you eat it.

Monday, October 20, 2014


I overheard my teacher telling a group to make the title of their paper sound:
I just did not understand what that meant.
So I decided to come up with some titles of clearly great essays.
Now, you must read these in your most ghetto-gangsta of voices.
Cause that's how I wrote them.

-Come a little closer: ebola is spreading quickly.
-Yeah take it off: your house is on fire.
-Hey baby: stocks are rising
-Let me see you shake it: obesity causes 18% of deaths.

-You’re lookin' so hot: We need to talk….

Friday, October 17, 2014

relationship advice


Just as a forewarning....this is not going to be GOOD advice.
I'll have you know....I have had offers.
But have I ever been in a real relationship that grown-ups partake of?
I'm just good at the ruining part.
And sometimes you just don't want to be just want them to break up with you.
So let me give you some terrible and unsolicited advice.
(All of these things may or may not have happened to me or been done by me....)

1. Tell them "I love you" in the first week of the relationship...... kill them with kindness. (That's how that saying works right?)

2. Tell them that you believe in co-habitation. That always gets those mormon men running real fast.

3. Talk incessantly about your damn cats all night. And how they suck from their mother's teets.

4. Try to kiss them during the new episode of The Walking Dead....just see what happens then.

5. Absolutely FREAK out at them for littering. That'll scare them off. (Alternatively, if you're dating a hippy.....litter. That's all you gotta do.)

6. Slowly leave bits of your hair everywhere they spend time...they'll eventually get disgusted by you.

7. Tell them you're going on a mission....or moving to Australia. Any of those would work here at BYU. Not marriage ready? Pass.

8. Simply, be really awkward and terrible at flirting....

So let's hear how your relationships have ended....

Monday, October 13, 2014


I am failing American Heritage.
Not after today though.
We had a constitutional convention that would play a big role on borderline grades based on participation.
Well, if my borderline was pass/fail then I definitely want to be on the pass side.
So I told the girls in my group that we were going to get noticed.
We needed the participation.
I told them that we were just going to propose ridiculous things.
Thus, began the war of 2014.
First, I proposed that all slaves get two votes in any election.
When everyone basically threw tomatoes at me for this,
My group decided to secede from the union.
This was not granted.
So we tried to absorb Delaware…
They didn’t want that either.
So we elected Benedict Arnold as president.
Believe it or not, they didn’t like that either.
So basically, my idea of government is a joke but…..
I’m not gonna fail…
I definitely don’t have a chance of getting friends in that class but…
I’m not gonna fail…

Wednesday, October 8, 2014


"Hope is the only thing stronger than fear."
I read this while I sit on the rooftop drinking my Danimals like a child.
A lot of times I worry that I will never KNOW the truths of life.
And maybe I never will.
But maybe all that I need is to hope.
Hope that the truths that I am supporting and living are good and worthwhile.
What kind of life do I want to live?
What kind of person do I want to be?
What do I want to fill my time with?
What do I want to put my efforts into?
I think about these questions often, but never truly find an answer.
I know I want to live a good life, be a good person, fill my time with good things.....
But what does good even mean?
What if what I think is good isn't actually good?
I might never KNOW what is actually good or is actually true.
But there is always hope.
There is hope that things are good and that people are good.
And I gotta have hope in something.
(So I'll put my hope in Danimals.
Because that is GOOD.)

Sunday, October 5, 2014

rough week

I make my living at a nursing home.
And this week I worked overtime.
Only to stumble upon many a surprise.
It started off with an old man asking me to adjust his nether regions.
I'm not about that life.
Then I had to....touch poop.
There comes a moment in a housekeeper's life when you encounter the brown devil.
You try to use every tool to transfer it into a means of disposal.
But then sometimes nothing works and so all you can think is...
"It's time. It must be done."
So you use your best type of tool-the one at the end of your arm.
And SOMETIMES it goes awry and your whole body distorts in disgust while the sound of a sick whale comes out of your mouth.
"AEHHAHEHHA it touched me!!!!"
And then you leave work.
Because that is just too much.
And ya know what?
That wasn't even the grossest of days.
(I tried to make this post about poop as tasteful as possible. How'd I do?)