Monday, September 29, 2014


If my life was a movie I would hope that I was a main character.
I would have a higher chance of survival this way.
If this movie that I'm starring in is scary then I would not be that person to walk down the creepy stairs.
If this movie was an action then I would definitely NOT be the hot blonde running through debris in high heels.
If this movie was about the zombie apocalypse then I would positively own a crossbow and motorcycle.
If this movie was a romantic comedy then I for sure wouldn't be the one dating an attractively hilarious man.
I would be the awkwardly weird third wheel friend that feeds on sarcasm.
I might possibly be the damsel in distress because who doesn't want a hot man to swoop in to carry them away into the sunset?
I would definitely be the rebellious young buck that tries to overthrow the government.
(Except I would probably fail miserably. I'm no Katniss.)
So basically....I wish my life was a movie.

Also, I know this post was about movies and the picture is of books. I like irony.

Monday, September 22, 2014


Life is awkward.
Because sometimes you have to hiney hang* in front of a man.
(But he still dates you anyways)
And sometimes you order a dessert for two and eat it by yourself.
(Even though they gave you two forks)
And sometimes you see a man walking out of the grocery store and think, “dang he’s hot.”
(Turns out its your ex…..)
Sometimes you have to break into your apartment while wearing a skirt.
(There’s no way to do this like a lady)
Sometimes you walk past a bathroom stall with wide cracks.
(And make eye contact with the person inside)
Sometimes you sit next to a guy with both your hands touching in preparation for the hand-holding.
(Which is actually the best kind of awkward)
And sometimes you get a physical from your doctor.

(And can’t stop giggling because you’re ticklish)

*A woman peeing. In the woods.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

little loves

Purple Nail Polish
Camping Trips
Swimming Pools
Maple Bars
Red Sneakers
Barefoot Running
Crab Paninis
Writing Down The Bones
Pretty Little Liars
Zooey Deschanel

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

a poem


To write a haiku
Or to not write a haiku.
That is the question.

(If you don't understand the irony then just leave this place.)

Friday, September 12, 2014

mormon dating

I have been avidly observing the mating rituals of the mormons in their natural habitat-the campus of Brigham Young University.
I am intrigued by my findings.
While the average marrying age of American women is 28, the average age for mormon women is 20.*
Even though the average marrying age of American men is 30, the average age for mormon men is 23.*
So how do mormons manage to win the race to the altar?
While going to school here I have witnessed certain dating practices that help speed up the process of the “I love you”.
It all starts with cookies.
During church the women announce that they will be serving cookies at their apartment.
This brings the men to the viewing of the domestic abilities of their potential mates.
Next, of course, comes the date.
Once the male has found a suitable cookie-making woman he will ask her to go out.
The average American man will take a woman out for dinner or a movie.
Not on this campus though.
They prefer to take their women to a night of “Angel-Moroni watching” at the temple.
If not this then garment shopping** is always a good choice to show the level of commitment they desire.
Once the courting stage has begun it is customary for the man to wait for the woman outside of relief society.
This shows all other males that she is taken.
Then, naturally, two weeks later is the "I do".

*Statistics are completely false 
**True story.......

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

senior year

School has begun.
And I saved all of my general credits for my senior year-
I'm kinda rocking procrastination.
Today I walked around the recently populated campus only thinking,
"AHH humans....leave!!"
There's too many of them in one spot that's for sure.
I did ask a few for directions though...
Their faces would turn sympathetic as they would ask,
Maybe I should take the effort to get acquainted to BYU campus?
Eh, too late to care now.
I'd say I started the semester off right by forgetting to pack anything useful and instead filling my backpack with food.
It came in handy though when, halfway to campus, I had to take a break and really contemplate the worth of an education.
(Walking is hard, alright?)
Well, one day down.
Let's do this.