humanity

Some people are just freakin hilarious. 
So here are some funny Facebook posts that I have stumbled upon.

>I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant

>You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a normal pigeon.

>I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said "I can't complain.”

>You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

>I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.

>Nothing is truly lost until your mom can't find it.

>Since they're loud and heavily scented already, Abercrombie & Fitch stores really are the ideal spot to go fart.

>When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…

>I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson

>I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.

>If you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.

>I left my phone at home all day today. Is the sky always blue like that?

>I told my psychiatrist that I've been hearing voices. He told me that I don't have a psychiatrist.

>When a pregnant woman swims, she is a human submarine.

>I’ve spent at least 15% of my life pulling a chain & trying to figure out if the ceiling fan is speeding up or slowing down