Sunday, February 28, 2016

words are powerful

A couple of years ago I was not hanging out with the best of people.
These People didn't think I was worth anything and so I didn't think I was worth anything.
As a result, I was not able to do the things in school that I was expected to.
I just could not progress because I didn't think I was worth progressing.
Ever since my interactions with These People I had just felt so stupid.
*I can't even get a C in any of my classes? I am so dumb!!*
Me feeling stupid would produce "stupid" results, which would make me feel stupid.....
I was at a low point for sure.
So when I went back to school last semester I reverted back to some of my old thoughts and feelings.
*What made me think that I could do this?
I'm not smart enough to go to school!
I should just drop out because I'm never going to pass.*
But then my knight in shining armor swooped in and let me know that all of those thoughts were only valid as long as I validated them.
But I could choose to validate other thoughts, thoughts that were actually true.
It took some coaxing for me to believe him, but he kept telling me that I was smart and worth it and good enough.
(He's a nice man.)
Because he kept telling me that I was smart, I started telling myself that I was smart.
And I started to believe it.
I was able to turn around my grade last semester and get a B+.
And then just the other day in anatomy I CRUSHED my ENTIRE class in an online quiz.
I just could not believe that I let Those People affect me so much back then that I could not accomplish the things I needed to.
It's amazing how powerful our words are to others.
And to ourselves.
It's not entirely a matter of "not letting it get to us."
It's also a matter of who we surround ourselves with.
And what words are we letting somebody else validate about themselves?
It's so easy (especially in a conflict) to say something hurtful and not think it's a big deal.
But to them it might be a big deal.
In the words of Albus Dumbledore: "Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it."

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