puberty

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Once upon a time I was in the fifth grade.
And everybody knows that in fifth grade the girls attend a special assembly and the boys attend a special assembly.
And at these special assemblies you learn all about your bodies and how you will change into strapping young ads and lovely young ladies.
And of course, after that assembly every kid in the fifth grade wanted to be a strapping young lad or a lovely young lady.
Now we were way too cool for this fifth grade stuff.
We wanted to start puberty!!!
And i was no different.
I had been scheming for some time how I could become the top dog in my group of friends and now I had my perfect opportunity.
At recess one day, out in the cold bitter air, I brought the girls into a tight huddle, away from the boys, to tell them a secret.
"Guys. I'm definitely a lovely young lady now."

Word soon spread that I had become one of the few fifth graders to make that step in life.
And everybody was in AWE.
I was the fifth grade goddess for a whole week!
(Until Mark stuck a pencil up his nose and STOLE the show.)
But during that week I felt on top of the world.
And the more people that knew, the more questions I got.
And for a not-quite-yet-a-lovely-young-lady it gets real hard to keep a story straight when you're busy memorizing presidents and states!
I started to get worried about all of the questions and mismatched answers and I knew I had to have some real evidence in case anybody came snooping around about my story.
So I took to my journal, as any maturing young adolescent would.
And in that day's false entry I wrote only one sentence:
"Today I started my puberty."

(????????)
I don't think you just START your puberty.
You don't wake up one morning and think,
"It has begun."
But I clearly hadn't listened well in that special assembly because I thought "period" and "puberty" were interchangeable.
My evidence was obviously flawed.
Years later I eventually became a lovely young lady, but at that point you want NOBODY to know that you started your "puberty".