old people

Old people are my calling.
I really wish that I could have put a picture or video of one of the old people from work but....HIPPA ruins everything.
Well, I have chosen to change careers and I have left to find a job that was less....24/7?
And so here I am reminiscing on the good times with my best friends:

>There was a bed bound resident whose sheets I was trying to change. He was putting up quite the fight and I was getting pretty frustrated. So I put my hands on my hips and firmly said, "John." He replied back in an equally firm voice, "Marsha."

>One old man was very concerned about his belt being broken. He was wearing a new belt so I wasn't too concerned about finding a solution to his belt problems. Since I wasn't being much help he left and came back later carrying his oxygen tubing. He asks me, "This stuff looks pretty expensive but can I use it as a belt?"

>I put on the movie Daddy Day Care for them to watch. One man was particularly getting a kick out of it. In the movie there is a scene where one man dressed as broccoli is wrestling another man dressed as a carrot. The old man sitting next to me starts laughing hysterically and says, "Oh Ho! Been there done that!!"

>I was getting dinner ready one night when one man comes into the kitchen with his pants all peed in. I told him to go back to his room and put new pants on, not knowing that he did not understand what pants were. He leaves for a bit then comes back with no pants on but with one leg through a sweater sleeve... I take him back to his room and try to get the sweater off, but it won't budge. I ask him how in the world he got it on in the first place and he says, "Well, it wasn't easy!"

>One gentleman came to the table I was working at, sat down and said, "I would like to start working full time. I'm just not making enough money with this part time stuff." We then went on for 30 minutes discussing the details of his new job.

>One lady (who is well into her eighties) was grabbing a brief out of her closet. I asked her if she needed to go to the bathroom and she says, "No. I just started my period."

And I could go on.
If you need more laughter in your life just call me up and I'll give you a boat load more.