different people

Life is made up of moments and seasons and periods of time.

Looking back on this past year I can’t even comprehend all of the moments and seasons and periods of time that passed.

I’ve lived in three different apartments and been many different people.

Not in the multiple-personality-where-I-literally-am-many-different-people sort of way.

But in the I-have-changed-and-grown-so-many-different-ways-at-different-times sort of way.

I remember the Summer when I was completely alone for most of my time.

And i would sit on my balcony on the little folding chair from the kitchen.

And i would watch all the Swig customers use the drive-through and all my ward members run around doing things that should be done in Summer.

And i would think too much and watch too much.

I remember the apartment where nobody talked to each other.

And I would escape to the climbing gym and make my interactions there.

And pretend that I liked where I was in life.

I look at my life now, that is completely different.

Where I am never alone.

And i don’t watch life pass me by, I shield my eyes from it.

So that I don’t get distracted by sadness and confusion.

Where I am starting to think about what I want in my life and where I want to be.

All of these different people I have been….they’re hard to let go of.

But I like this person the most.