just don't

This is the oldest picture that I had on my Facebook.
For this story though just picture me about a year younger.
It all begins in 9th grade when my sunday school teacher's nephew came to church.
And boy was he H.O.T. Hot.
So naturally, I gave my picture with my number written on the back to his aunt.
She passed it on to him just as I asked.
We began texting and flirting.
(I might have been flirting more.)
I thought I was in love.
Well, our conversations began to die down.
So like any 9th grade girl does, I got onto Seventeen.com.
For all of you oblivious boys, Seventeen is a teeny bopper magazine.
With the worst advice.
But at the time I lived by everything that was written on those pages.
Conveniently there was a section about starting texting conversations with boys.
I hit the jackpot.
I scrolled through until I found the perfect one.
I got on MSN messenger (I know, old right?) and told my BFF's my plan.
They thought it was a great idea and were behind me 100%.
So I got my phone out, clicked his name, and said:
"Hey don't make me think of something clever to say to start talking to you."
His reply?
".......What?"
As it should have been.
I was mortified that the magazine that I worshipped had given me terrible advice.
How could it have betrayed me like that?
There was no way that he would marry me now.
All because of Seventeen.
So the moral of the story?
Never take the advice of a magazine when it comes to love.