Sunday, April 27, 2014


I was in someone elses house, sleeping in someone elses bed, tending someone elses kids.
And I felt like I was lying.
I had gotten this random nanny gig and was staying with the kids overnight.
I'd done it before but this time was different.
I felt like a fraud-acting as the mother of these kids that I didn't even know.
As I watched their TV in the middle of the night, I tried to figure out why I felt so weird.
I think it was because I wasn't ready for the life that I was pretending to have at the time.
A life full of responsibility?
No thanks, I was still just a baby myself.
I started thinking about how I'm gonna graduate soon.
And then I'll be a grown-up.
With a real grown-up job that I can't wear sweat pants and flip flops to.
I'll have bills to pay and money to worry about.
I'll have to schedule my own eye appointments and make all of my own decisions.
This is my last Summer before "adulthood".
We are in schools for so much of our lives that thinking about not going to school anymore is scary.
What are we supposed to do when we don't have finals to worry about and teachers to impress?
Yes, I know I know....we move onto real world stuff.
But that's weird.
And I just want to go back to the time when I was the age of the kids I nanny.
My biggest argument was about which crayon was mine.
My biggest worry was if my crush would circle Yes on my love note.
My biggest responsibility was walking my dog.

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