misadventure

It happened as I was driving up to Salt Lake and it started raining mud.
Mud that was invincible against my windshield wipers and that just kept coming down like a bad dream.
It was new, seeing the cloud covered sky rain mud.
But it wasn't going to stop me from turning in some important paperwork for a new job.
I pull up to the correct building, grab everything I need and run up to the door.
I go in and tell them I am there on important business as I pull out my passport.
Except that it's not my passport.
It is a Temple Passport that I got from Derek's mom.
And while it is cute, the government would not accept it as proper documentation.
Fuming mad, I leave and head out into my mud splattered car.
I send a text to Derek to vent out all of the frustration and anger coursing through my body.
As the mud turns into a torrential rainstorm and traffic thickens, he offers to buy me something.
I kept telling him I didn't want anything and he kept insisting.
So, use and abuse.
I needed to pick up some lemons from the store but if I had one less thing to do that day maybe it would be better.
Since my vision was now getting a little cloudier I decided to do a little voice-to-text-message.
Ya know the ones, you speak and it turns into written words that the receiver can read.
Well, I push the record button and say in the most angrily enunciated way (to make sure that my phone interprets correctly obviously):
"Get. Me. Two. Lemons. Period. That's. It. Period."
Then I hit send.
And immediately regretted it.
Apparently there's an awful texting option that is new to the world that allows you to send voice recordings.
I had just sent him a voice recording of me enunciating every word in a sentence.
I was horribly embarrassed.
I have farted on the poor man and THIS embarrasses me.
My anger was instantly melted into pure hysterical laughter as I called me best friend to tell her all about the misadventure.
I get back home after the torturous drive only to discover that he hadn't even bought me the lemons.
The silly man thought it was a joke.