resume builder

I know, I know, I've already written a post about my job.
But it just offers so much to write on so here I am again.
I have realized that I am learning many skills that would be useful on a resume.
Or that should be included on a checklist by a potential roommate or spouse.
They're that good.
Let's begin.
>If I accidentally spill a bottle of bleach on my pants I can quickly make it look artsy and new age.
>I can flush absolutely any toilet. Just call me the best female plumber around.
>I can find the best hiding spots to pop out and scare people.
>I know how to tell a thrilling ghost story.
>I have the ability to get all of the free toilet paper, shampoo, and soap my little heart desires.

But really......
This is all we do at work.......