new apartment

I got kicked out of my apartment.
In the middle of the semester.
There is no interesting or scandalous story to tag along with that first sentence.
Our roof was simply going to be torn off.
So we had to leave.
I live in the same complex, but it is basically a whole new world over here.
When I say "over here", I mean the rich side of town.
I have my own private balcony and we even get the newspaper.
Fancy right?
I still often visit the north end of the complex to see my friends.
However, it is probably a ten minute walk.
And I have to pass the gang bangers hanging out by the dumpster.
I make small talk with them and they offer me cigs and alcohol.
It really brightens my day.
Since I don't know anyone down here yet I usually sit at my kitchen table and watch people walk to campus.
And I stare longingly at the fast food joints just a stone's throw from my window.
Ah, it's the life down here in apartment 9.

the pineapple

Kathy Hsu.
She's such an inspiration.
I had been looking for a way to make my hair not quite so normal.
I had grown to miss the strange looks that people would give me as I walked around campus.
Then she told me about the pineapple.
And I love it.
Bangs in the way?
No problem.
Just throw them up in a ponytail on top of your head and you're set.
It allows me to keep my forehead perfectly tan whilst still attracting some attention.
An attractive man smiled at me today so.....win.
I mean, the dates have still been sparing, but.....
I prefer to tell myself that men are just intimidated by my confidence.
And ever better, if I wear it once.....it gets stuck like that until I wash it again.
Permanent hairstyle?
Um, yes.

ok.

Two letters, one very common phrase. 

But to me, this phrase used daily by many is a symbol of hope. 

.........
It’s OK to get mad at someone, but it’s also OK to say sorry.

It’s OK to be unapologetically remorseful, occasionally irrational, and overly anxious. 

These are the things that make us who we are. 

It’s OK to be who we are and it’s OK to be unique and it’s OK to be weird. 

It’s OK if you want to stay in your room by yourself on a Friday night; 

it’s OK if you decide to not do that homework assignment; 

it’s OK to eat that fifth cookie; 

and it’s OK if you burn dinner. 

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, but it’s OK if we’re not.

...............

So here these two letters sit, written on my mirror, to remind me every day that I am OK. 

Even if nothing is working out or I am making more mistakes than I can count, I am still OK. 

I don’t need to be the best, the prettiest, the smartest, or perfect. 

I know that I am enough because those two little letters tell me that I am all the time.

---

names

Such an important part of our lives.
Yet, so forgettable.
We've all had that one friend whose name we never learned.
So we spend our whole friendship saying "Hey you!"
We've all invited our friend over to meet our roommate.
Because this might be the only way we learn said roommate's name without asking for the tenth time.
And haven't we all gone on a date with someone whose name we couldn't remember?
Oh, just me?
Well, the first rule to meeting someone is to text them your full name.
We say it's because we need to organize our contacts.
But honestly, who cares about our contact organization?
It's really so that we can learn the person's name.
(And also for Facebook stalking, but...unrelated..)
And this man never texted me his name.
So when he called and asked me on a date I thought I caught his name as being Tyler.
I couldn't be sure though.
So when we were actually on the date I figured that it was too late to clarify.
So I just crossed my fingers that I didn't run into anyone I knew.
Because introductions would've been awkward.....
I probably would have had to resort to a fake heart attack.
Finally, when he added me on Facebook weeks later I learned his name.
It was nothing even close to being Tyler.
Eh.

i don't understand

My Saturdays are the weirdest.
I don't understand how my body even got into this rhythm.
But each week on this day I lose my appetite.
I don't eat ALLLLL day.
I just have no desire to put food into my body.
(Which is an odd sensation for me....)
Then nighttime comes and I fall asleep at about 8 or 9.
Party animal right?
I feel a little guilty, but then then I don't cause sleeping is fun.
Then at midnight I wake up with a fury in my belly.
I then proceed to scavenge for a Thanksgiving feast.
And this is when I eat all of my meals for the day-all at once.
Then I fall asleep a couple of hours later.
Also, the last few nights I have fallen asleep fully clothed.

Yeah....I'm a medical mystery.

climbing with film

Thanks to Walgreens for being behind the times.
I can still develop film there.
Yesterday I played hooky during Sunday School and went climbing.
And it was glorious.
We were a little ill-prepared for the 30 minute hike in, but it was worth it.

I made one wrong flick of the wrist and half the film got over-exposed.
But here's the rest.

a how-to

After my ever so popular post making fun of hipsters.....
I thought I would create a how-to on being a hippy.
So that you too, can be one.
>First, you gotta be throwing those peace signs around like candy. Spread the love to anybody you see. The farewell "peace out" is also mandatory whenever saying goodbye to anybody.
>Next, don't put any processed foods into your body (unless it's free....then eat ten of whatever it is). Making your own food and shopping at the local farmer's market gets you an A+.
>Refuse to take any medicine or visit any doctors. Supplements are not considered modern medicine in my book and are encouraged to be consumed, but only if you can't get those nutrients in your diet.
>Do yoga. A lot of it. Preferably outdoors.
>Only make your clothes. And when you can't make them only buy them at thrift stores or from hobos on the street. In other words, don't support consumerism. You should own at least 3 articles of tie-dyed clothing, 5 band shirts, 1 pair of bell bottoms, and if you're a girl, 3 long, flowing skirts.
>Don't wear shoes anywhere. If it was acceptable in society being naked would be the ideal way to go and would definitely support my former point. But that will just have to be contained to your house.
>Only use products that were homemade out of organic and natural materials. Chemicals have no place on your body.
>Know the lingo. Blow your mind, bummer, killer, groovy, far out....
>Protest any and everything.
>Get those dreadlocks started.
>Listen to the Beatles, The Who, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, The Eagles.......
>Cringe at the sight of water being wasted, cardboard not being recycled, jars not being re-purposed, and chemicals being used.
>NO drugs. :) You don't have to do drugs to be a free spirited, deep thinker. Get a natural high through meditation.

And that's how to be a stereotypical hippy.

pause

The world is beautiful.

So beautiful that it is sometimes overwhelming.

And it becomes necessary to pause and just remember what life feels like at this moment.

Throw your head back, look at the stars, feel the rain on your face, and breath.

Close your eyes and feel the wind blow through your hair and across your skin.

And feel alive. 

Because no matter how hard life is, it is still beautiful.

So for a second, don't rush.

Just breathe it all in.

And remember,

That you are alive.